are you NAKED? Don't Look!
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How to tell you are naked without looking.


  1. Unexplained breezes.
  2. Unusual amount of hair in your food.
  3. Sitting on a steel chair is rather cool.
  4. Two nuns that come to the door selling raffle tickets run away screaming.
  5. Two nuns that come to the door selling raffle tickets walk away laughing.
  6. When you need to wipe your nose you are forced to look for a tissue.
  7. Getting in and out of the bathroom to do your work is quicker than at other times.
  8. Cooking bacon results in a rather athletic dance step.
  9. The TV really is watching you as you watch it show censored highlights of you watching it.
  10. Your C-U C-Me website outranks FoxNews for hits for the day.
  11. You get called up to the counter at the Post Office past 15 other people.
  12. Fastening your seat belt causes personal trauma.
  13. People keep asking you about the full moon.
  14. Passersby look away quickly and whisper in muted voices while giggling.
  15. You get odd email that includes a list of clues to tell if you are naked.
  16. You READ the list of clues and nod at a couple of them.
  17. You smile a lot while reading them.

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