1. It's not an act, I really don't care.
2. Diet sodapop tastes worse, and Yes, I can tell the difference.
3. Chicken wings or vegetarian lasagna... Guess which I'll pick every time.
4. Yes I know what foreplay is. But when you tell me not to mess up your hair, not to tickle you, and ask if I heard the phone ring, there's not much left is there.
5. While I can tell you who Red 'the Galloping Ghost' Grange was, and in great detail too, I have no idea who what's-his-name on that sit-com you like so much is.
6. I will not wear a bracelet unless it has paramedic information on it. Period.
7. You go to the Arts and Crafts Show. I'll go to the Hunting and Fishing Expo. Sounds like a perfect weekend to me.
8. Do I think you need to get your hair cut short? Is it longer than Crystal Gayle's? And you are never getting a perm either. See Crystal Gayle and her hair.
9. Laying wet vegetables on the newspaper before I read it is a Felony.
10. So is using my razor on your legs.
11. I know, I never wore that pink shirt your mother bought me. And if she buys me a pink tie, I won't wear it either.
12. No I didn't hear what you said while Tiger was putting for the Masters Championship. Repeating it while Team Green is about to finish 1 - 2 at the Long Beach Grand Prix won't help.
13. I probably forgot your birthday, Mother's Day, Sweetheart Day, Port Fogworth Incorporation Day, my birthday, Columbus Day, Valentines Day, the cat's birthday, and our anniversary, what makes you think I'll remember what TODAY is?
14. I ordered it off the web site, paid good cash money for it, had it gift wrapped, and had it overnight mailed to you, of course I meant it.
15. Yes it is a cute little car. But I still want something that looks like an Army Truck.
16. We still had our clothes on, so it wasn't serious flirting.
17. Don’t ask me if I think ‘she’ is prettier than you. If you have to ask, ‘she’ is.
18. Do I think those few extra pounds look good on you? If I say yes, you’ll gain a few more, and a few more… if I say no, you’ll be mad for a week. Talk about a no win situation.
19. Quit faking it in bed. If you want it a different way. Say So! And it won’t hurt my feelings if you initiate it once in awhile.
20. I thought 'Rambo 3' was romantic, why would I want to watch 'The Princess Bride'?
21. I promise not to laugh the next time you tell me the cat got ran over by a street sweeper.

Selah